Today we had a combined birthday party for my son and daughter. I just had to laugh about a lot of the things I saw my son doing vs. what all of the other kids were doing, mainly because I understood it, and finally kind of saw how I must look to others in a way.
We went to Chuck E. Cheese's and it was a blast! When Chuck E. came out to sing the birthday songs and do the parade thing, however, my son first tried to hide under the table. After we coaxed him out, he sat there with a scowl on his face while all of the other kids were singing along, laughing because they would absolutely love to be the center of attention.
After a bit, the kids were all walking around aimlessly, coming to us for refills on tokens, and my son... I'd have a handful of them right in his face and he'd walk past my hand, talking to his friends about how he is out of tokens. I had to call him 3 or 4 times (with the help of the other parents), to get him to realize I was trying to give him tokens.
At the end of it all, they went to cash in their tickets, and he had that poor girl sitting there for probably 10 minutes, not telling her what he wanted. Another mom said "he's not much of a decision maker, is he?" lol. I just giggled, then asked him why he wasn't telling the girl. He said very matter of factly, "I told you before she came over to us what I wanted to get". I couldn't remember for the life of me, because I was trying to keep track of 2 other kiddos, and I'm lucky I can remember my own name half of the time without the chaotic atmosphere. Finally, I got him to whisper what he wanted into my ear so I could tell the lady (who seemed as if her head was about to explode as she looked at the long line that had built up behind us while he decided), and he got what he wanted.
We had an absolute blast, and it is so much fun sometimes to see how he handles situations, because often I choose to do things the same way he does. It's very interesting and eye opening to see it sometimes from another perspective.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
Ha! Go figure...
It's been a whole minute (maybe) and I've already thought about what I want to talk about...
My boyfriend and I today were talking about social mannerisms... I am under the impression that the majority of things people do are very self-serving. Not so much because of how I view others, but because of how things work for me, essentially.
Now I'm not saying that I am not generally a kind person, or that I don't even bother trying to be. I believe that everyone deserves respect, and I'm generally a very moral person. But I don't understand why total strangers feel the need to ask "how are you doing?". They simply cannot care how I'm doing if they don't know me... not genuinely. Are they doing it so I think they are nice? ...so I might feel good that they did it? Regardless, if they do not know me, though it may not be a conscious effort, doesn't it eventually just amount to "I feel good about myself for being nice to that person today", in the back of their minds... they must get some sort of gratification out of doing so.
I love kids... kids are so honest and straight to the point the majority of the time. At the store the other day, I had both of my wrist splints on, and we came across a lady and her daughter. The lady just kind of looks at me with this "it would not be polite to say anything about them, so I'm just gonna gawk instead" type of look. I never understood why people do that either... anyway, the little girl walks up and blurts out "why are those on your arms?"
Now, I hear a lot of parents when questions like this are brought up, start ranting about how it's not appropriate and you might make someone feel bad, etc. This is exactly why we have bullies. If we are taught that asking questions and trying to understand things is a bad thing, then eventually the people themselves are associated with being a bad thing.
The mother said nothing, and I proceeded with a longwinded explanation of what they were for, what I have that causes me to need them, explanations as to what medications can help if it is needed... etc. As the questions went on, THAT made me feel good. No smile or anything can make me feel better than being able to answer a question as to why I am different, and feel that a child may have gained some understanding about things so they will not be as standoffish as the parents, or so that they may not become a bully, because they are willing to ask questions and gain understanding about those who are different.
So... did I even tie that second part to the question? I'm not exactly sure... did I talk in circles? You tell me. I can never tell when I'm repetitive or when I'm not being clear, lol.
My boyfriend and I today were talking about social mannerisms... I am under the impression that the majority of things people do are very self-serving. Not so much because of how I view others, but because of how things work for me, essentially.
Now I'm not saying that I am not generally a kind person, or that I don't even bother trying to be. I believe that everyone deserves respect, and I'm generally a very moral person. But I don't understand why total strangers feel the need to ask "how are you doing?". They simply cannot care how I'm doing if they don't know me... not genuinely. Are they doing it so I think they are nice? ...so I might feel good that they did it? Regardless, if they do not know me, though it may not be a conscious effort, doesn't it eventually just amount to "I feel good about myself for being nice to that person today", in the back of their minds... they must get some sort of gratification out of doing so.
I love kids... kids are so honest and straight to the point the majority of the time. At the store the other day, I had both of my wrist splints on, and we came across a lady and her daughter. The lady just kind of looks at me with this "it would not be polite to say anything about them, so I'm just gonna gawk instead" type of look. I never understood why people do that either... anyway, the little girl walks up and blurts out "why are those on your arms?"
Now, I hear a lot of parents when questions like this are brought up, start ranting about how it's not appropriate and you might make someone feel bad, etc. This is exactly why we have bullies. If we are taught that asking questions and trying to understand things is a bad thing, then eventually the people themselves are associated with being a bad thing.
The mother said nothing, and I proceeded with a longwinded explanation of what they were for, what I have that causes me to need them, explanations as to what medications can help if it is needed... etc. As the questions went on, THAT made me feel good. No smile or anything can make me feel better than being able to answer a question as to why I am different, and feel that a child may have gained some understanding about things so they will not be as standoffish as the parents, or so that they may not become a bully, because they are willing to ask questions and gain understanding about those who are different.
So... did I even tie that second part to the question? I'm not exactly sure... did I talk in circles? You tell me. I can never tell when I'm repetitive or when I'm not being clear, lol.
Hello all... I am 28 and have 2 kiddos, one has Asperger's (high functioning autism) and my other so far... we think she is "typical". They say the apple doesn't fall far from the tree, which is true, as I have been looked at pretty darn closely by psychologists who have given an educated guess that I have the same as my son. So pretty much, this is my blog. Some days will be me ranting about not understanding why things happen the way they do socially... some times will be analyzing everything under a microscope, and some days may just be me venting about how rough the day has been.
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